#MusicMonday: The 5 Biggest Douchebags in Rock

Happy Monday to all the music heads out there! More specifically, it is #MusicMonday. Are you confused as to what the hell #MusicMonday is? Well then obviously you aren't on twitter. However, Monday is a day where for whatever reason, people tweet about the music that they are listening to or whatever music they like. Pretty much just an appreciation for the sounds and beats that they love and want other people to hear. So in the spirit of this, considering this blog already gets an almost daily posting on all things music anyway, I decided to do something special for Mondays. The idea is to make a new list every Monday of something in relation to music. Whether it be a top 5 or top 10, or bottom 5 or bottom 10, it will be new and interesting. Nothing is off limits, so we shall see where this goes. So in the spirit of the new list, here it is...

The 5 Biggest Douchebags in Rock

Although everyone loves music and we're all passionate about what we like to listen to or create musically, some figures in music take it a little too far and believe themselves to be far superior to their peers and fans in the music world. Respect, appreciation, humility, and substance are all missing from figures like this. In my opinion, here are the biggest douchebags of rock and roll.

5. Noel Gallagher

Opinionated snob and a loudmouth to the Nth degree, the older brother of the Gallagher brothers of Oasis has cemented his well deserved spot in rock and roll infamy by his anger filled antics and rants and belief that he is nothing less than the greatest thing to happen to rock (something that all of these men share). Nobody has been off limits to Noel, criticizing his artist peers and even his own bandmates in every way. According to him, nobody is as musically inclined, fashionable, better looking, or as intelligent as him. Sadly his opinions have resonated and his bold statements have actually gained some followers. What's the kicker for me? His very well documented verbal and physical battles with his own brother on and off stage. If even your own brother can't stand you; that is a statement all in its own. As of 2009, Noel Gallagher has quit Oasis because he had the nail in the coffin final fight with his brother that told him there was no place in the band for him anymore. Maybe the world will now see less of him. We can only hope so. In his own words.. "I represent power, musical power. I am fucking brilliant every night I go out there. I could give a fuck about anybody else in the band. They look after themselves. But I am always cooking on a solid eight-and-a-half out of 10." -Rolling Stone. That same interview he said all he wanted out of his most recent US tour with Oasis was 5 million dollars and nothing else. 'Nuff said.


4. Axl Rose

As the frontman of the loud, dirty, and grimey hard rock/hair metal band Guns N' Roses in the late 80s/early 90s he had a reputation for being a selfish bastard with his "don't give a fuck" attitude and easily sparked temper. A Rolling Stone article chronicling the 20th anniversary of the release of their Appetite for Destruction album in 1987 described the band space where they lived before getting signed as a tiny complete shithole with trash everywhere that the entire band shared except for the immaculate private room that Axl reserved for himself. The general consensus: he was a loose cannon with possible bi-polar disorder. After he was so unbearable to be around, Guns N' Roses fell apart as all the band members left...however, according to Axl, he was the band. Guns N' Roses still "continued" with new members and no album for 20 years until Chinese Democracy was released in 2008. Mr. Rose kept fans of the Guns waiting for over 15 years for a complete waste of 70 minutes of their lives that Axl had called "legendary" up until its release. His self righteous antics continue to live on as does his watered down incarnation of the band that made him famous. Really...what kind of a weirdo gets in a fight with Tommy Hilfiger?


3. Fred Durst

If you were in junior high or high school around the time of the nu-metal & rap-metal movements, you couldn't turn on mtv or the radio for 10 minutes without hearing the choppy rhymes of Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. Clearly nobody loves fame and attention more than this man. Taking every opportunity to get on camera, taking every opportunity to get on magazine covers, talking as much controversy as possible, calling out rival bands on stage, getting in fist fights with fans, spilling his guts to gossip mags about the famous broads he nailed, and still having the nerve to say that the music industry is out to get him and he doesn't deserve all the hate and criticism coming his way takes some serious balls. Does Fred Durst love himself and want the entire world to love him? I don't know, I think the cover of the band's Results May Vary album tells that story. Who names their album Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water? Fred Durst does, kids. Thankfully Limp Bizkit and Mr. Durst have traveled the downward spiral into irrelevance in the music scene. However, there's talk of a comeback. Please say it aint so. All the rap-metal kids might have to dust off their red Yankees hat and cut off jean shorts for that reunion concert.


2. Billy Corgan

The biggest crybaby in rock, bar none. The dynamic creative musical force behind the alternative juggernaut The Smashing Pumpkins. The only main that has been more psychologically affected by fame more than Kurt Cobain, Billy Corgan has always wanted everyone to know that he is not a happy soul. I have my disagreements on how millions of dollars and being internationally recognized as a rock and roll icon could be a bad thing, but Billy never seems to satisfied, and that is the problem. He said his life sucked before hitting it big in music, and then, his life became just that much worse being in the limelight. He has an album called Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness; the album that made him the most money after he was already rich. However instead of blowing his brains out, he decided to keep crying on a larger scale with every album and every interview. However, his crying didn't/doesn't come without a dash of opinion here and there. He believes he is an alternative icon that deserves to be recognized even though the music industry is flawed and fake. Don't get me wrong, the man has more talent in his little finger than most artist these days have in their entire being, but a man who claims so many problems yet is renowned for his difficult nature and self righteousness can't garner much sympathy. If a man can't even have faith in his own bandmates and largely recorded albums himself, there's no need for a band. Cue the solo career. And it's not about the money, yet after an 8 year hiatus keeps the band rolling on with an entirely different lineup. I thought that's what the solo career was for? Something doesn't add up. Could it be that a ticket for a "Smashing Pumpkins" album and tour would get more sales than a "Billy Corgan" album and tour would? A band is more than one person Billy. Get with the program. Unfortunately for him, his mouth and lack of creative steam have caught up to him. The new plan is to release a 44 track new album called Teargarden by Kaleidyscope for free; to be released song by song. Good luck Billy! "Do I belong in the conversation about the best artists in the world? My answer is yes, I do,” he says. “I’ve been too productive for too long, and despite what anybody wants to strip away from me, I am influential. I am. So all the Pitchforks in the world can try to strip me of every ounce of dignity, but I belong." - Billy Corgan


1. Trent Reznor

Why is Nine Inch Nails called a band yet is basically centered around one person who constantly changes band for live performances and tours? Because Trent Reznor took the Billy Corgan route a little bit further and understood from the get-go that he was a complete pain to work with. Maybe he decided to make a solo project and call it a "band" since it would take more than one person to play his "industrial rock" nonsense in a live setting. Or maybe he didn't want to seem like the only one at fault for creating loud noises and mumbo jumbo. Either way, NIN's success will always be one of the biggest mysteries in modern rock to me. So much so that somehow the band operates now without a record label thanks to their loyal and drugged out fanbase. Kind of like how Kid Rock calls himself "Rock and Roll Jesus". A term like that is simply because Trent Reznor couldn't think of it first. But mark my words, you know he believes it. From his success in the 90's, a well publicized drug habit, and his hard road to recovery...he's wanted to let everyone know that he always reigns supreme and he is "above the music industry." Everyone is fake, music today is horrible except for his, and music is always in a slump until the next Nine Inch Nails album is released. A perfect world for Trent Reznor would probably be a lot of little big haired fat unpopular kids spitting their hate for the modern world and society while filling up his pockets and ego. Lately he's filled his time with creating probably another 8-disc "album" and spitting his hate mongering on twitter. Actually, he "left" twitter because people didn't necessarily enjoy his tweets about how much other artists are inferior to him. The glass is always half empty for this man.


That's all for now. Hope y'all enjoyed it. Did I miss anyone? Am I wrong? Whether you agree or disagree. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thanks to these guys for showing what a class act in music truly isn't. Til next time!

~Dr. M